The Kirkwood Sisters

One of the greatest benefits of  multi-generational living is getting to build closer relationships with my aunts and uncles.  Because we all live in the same house, when someone in the family visits or calls my parents............my family and I also have the opportunity to grow these relationships.  What a tremendous blessing it has been!

This past week, my sweet (ok and sometimes sour) Aunt Charlotte came to visit us from the great state of Texas.  We had such a great time!  As I scroll through the pictures on my phone, I'm so thankful for the memories we made in her 10 day visit.  

Clockwise from top left: Bonnie, Barbara, Charlotte & Roberta (my mom)
Aren't they adorable?

I love to hear the stories about life when they were growing up....from each of them.  They all have a little different perspective of things and how events impacted the family.  They are all exceptionally talented ladies, each with a little different spin on how they would do it.  Raising boys only, it was incredibly interesting to hear about life at their house growing up.  I feel like I had the opportunity to become much more educated in family history and it gave me a lot of insight on how and why I was raised the way I was.  Four sisters in one house, but each very, very different from the other.  As they have gotten older, it appears to me that their fondness for each other has only gotten deeper.  What a beautiful picture of family ties.  

We were able to head to the west side of our state to visit our dear Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Jim.  We had such a lovely visit and although it was short, probably the most memorable time for me to enjoy almost all the Kirkwood girls (we missed you Aunt Barbara).  I was able to meet up with a cousin of mine that I hadn't seen in probably 20 years and hear her memories of time spent with my mom when she was a little girl.  Hearing these sweet stories and learning how even hard times can bring families together in a unique way.  The Lord has been good to our family!

3 out of 4 Kirwood sisters (left to right: Roberta, Bonnie and Charlotte) and although I did get their permission to put this on my blog (even though they all had something to say about why they didn't like it) I thought it captured the fun time we were having and the love they have for each other!

During my Aunt Charlotte's visit to Richland, stopping by the "Spudnut Shop" was a must!  It has been in Richland since 1948.  The Kirkwood girls told me that they used to walk down and enjoy a spudnut a la mode on occasion.  We thought we'd do that again:

"Spudnut a la mode"

There were so many interesting and telling things that I learned about my family on this visit.  So many questions that I was able to ask that I hadn't thought much about before....."what did my aunts think of my dad at first?", "what was my Grandma Kirkwood like from other perspectives?", "how difficult was it to lose her at such a young age?" So many stories.... sad and happy stories.  The things that I learned on this visit would not necessary interest those outside my family.  But it did make me wonder how many of us take the time to know our parents' siblings.  They hold a lot of history and I have been extremely blessed by pursuing those relationships.

A subdivision and street that my dad named after my mom's family.

Critters and Cows

One of the many reasons we wanted to live in a more rural setting was so that we could have some animals.  Some for pets.......and some for food.  In the last few months we have gained quite a few new critters and we are lovin' it!  Let's start with the pets.......

Meet Jessie:  She is our ten year old Labrador Retriever that we have had for about 9 years now.  She is a very friendly dog who loves humans.  We get frequent phone calls that she is visiting various people in the neighborhood.  I have to confess, the shedding hair, her slobbering on my kitchen slider and licking me, I find kind of annoying.  But she is a great dog!  She's been an excellent hunting dog, great with the kids, mostly obedient (especially to her master - Dale) and just an all around good pet.

Meet the bunnies (or rabbits if you are too manly to say "bunnies"):  We have three rabbits ~ Jack, Becky and Valentina.  Jack (black) is a Mini Satin/Mini Rex mix who is a very funny bunny (shhhh he's my favorite).  He likes to snuggle right up on your neck and relax for long periods of time. Becky is a Mini Lop (grey) that will be Isaac's 4H show rabbit this year.  Becky is kind of tempermental but she does have her looks going for her.  Then there is Valentina (brownish black), Levi's 4H show rabbit is a Mini Lop with super soft fur and a sweet disposition.

Levi and Valentina (she got her first tattoo)

Bonnie (we are bunnysitting), Becky and Valentina

Jack Black (aka Funnybunny)

KITTENS!  I am so excited about these little critters!  I've been waiting a lot of years for kittens because we wanted indoor/outdoor cats which didn't really mix in our last home.  Their names are Felix and Emma and they are brother and sister.  They are so fun to watch and I have discovered how much they have in common with my boys.  One minute they are sleeping, the next minute they are playing with each other, and then.......they start wrestling.  Curiosity and mischief are their middle names. Same as my boys.....what a coincidence!  They have been an excellent tool for a heads up on girls.  I advised my boys: "kittens are like girls, the more you ignore them, the more they will like you". Some may disagree, but at this point I'm taking advantage of my boys taking their momma's advice!

Felix (front) and Emma (back)

Frogs and Tadpoles:  As soon as our irrigation pond fills every year, we have a lot of tadpoles.  I have one boy in particular that I'm pretty sure is part amphibian.  He catches more frogs and tadpoles than anyone I have ever known.  He can see a frog in the grass or the mud that no one even spots.  We enjoy watching the tadpoles grow in to frogs and we have made a lot of friends happy (maybe not their moms, but hey, can't win them all) by giving them as gifts.

Cows:  This year we have a couple of cows that we have named "8" and "10".  We feel like our boys need to understand the cycle of life and.....we love beef around here! I have to admit that each fall there is a little sadness for me that our cattle are no longer grazing in the pasture.  But.......home grown beef is much tastier in my opinion and I feel better about the food that I am feeding my family when I know where it came from.

Ole number "8" from my kitchen window

I can't hear you....can you repeat that, please?

Hearing loss.......those that either suffer from it, or suffer with communicating with someone with significant hearing loss, may be able to relate to our story.......

My sweet mother has severe hearing loss.  The specific reason for her hearing loss is not known for certain.  She did have a serious case of rheumatic fever as a child with very high fevers.  That it just one of the possibilities. (I'm pretty sure she wasn't listening to Elvis, volume cranked with ear buds....but maybe?).

Roberta Kirkwood Lattin 1958

In the recent year and a half that we have been living together I have observed some significant things that cause frustration for....I'll say, a few of us....

• When mom doesn't know that someone is having a conversation and she starts a new one.
• Cell phone conversations are nearly impossible, so texting is better.....if she knows she received a text.
• Family dinner with 7 people carrying on multiple conversations, mom usually gets left out.
• She requires a large headset to hear the television, when she is wearing this headset she cannot hear anything else going on around her (buzzers, timers, alarms, phones ringing, etc.)
• We have to be in the same room talking right to mom (face to face).  She is partially reading lips so this is crucial.
• She and Dad sit next to each other in the living room, not across from each other....and yes mom, he does mumble a little!;)
• You might as well forget communicating with mom when going to a restaurant with all the clanking dishes and different conversations going on.  

You are probably thinking....."sounds like she needs hearing aids".  You are correct, but this is all with hearing aides. She has had a set of reputable hearing aides for years and without these aides it is nearly impossible to communicate with her at all.  I have felt that there has to be something better our there especially in this age of technology we live in.

Well, I've covered the frustrations that I can relate to, but what about how my mom feels?  This isn't easy for her at all!  She feels left out, confused, frustrated and often she completely checks out of the conversation because she does not want to be a burden to us by asking us to repeat ourselves multiple times.  I know that there have been times that she feels talked down to, as if she is unintelligent because of the way we are talking to her.  

I have found that my sons and nephews are completely patient with mom's hearing where the adults are often not.  They do not at all mind repeating themselves and will go to whatever measures necessary to make sure Grandma hears them.  I'm often hard on my boys, but watching them with their Grandma has been a great example to me in this area.  

Recently my brother, sister-in-law and I decided to have sort of a "hearing intervention" with my mom.  She and Dad have known that there are many other options out there regarding this technology, but let's be honest.....hearing aides are expensive.  The devices she has been wearing were expensive.  No one is too excited to spend large sums of money on a "hope so, maybe it'll work" kind of band aid.  We want to communicate with her again.  She wants to be part of the conversation in real time, without having to be filled in later.  She is a social person and this has effected her spirit as well.  

My brother and sister-in-law have a very good high school friend (Scott Williams with Huston Hearing) that sells hearing aids.  He offered to let mom try a new set for a couple of months  with no obligation or contracts.  I know there are probably other places that offer this, but he was willing to come to our house, talk to us, hear exactly what we are all struggling with, and make his best effort to help.  He's not a pushy salesperson, he seems to really care about the outcome here. 

Needless to say, we have been blown away!  He has given mom some trial hearing aides that have already been life and relationship changing.  She can now hear me from the next room, while the water is running!  With the trial option, she is able to experience these hearing aids in a variety of settings. In the car, on the phone, in a restaurant, in a group conversation, at the dinner table with multiple conversations going on.  So far, she is extremely pleased and I have already noticed myself relaxing quite a bit.....knowing that she can hear me, and she isn't bluffing about it.

I guess I want to summarize this story by saying that mom's hearing loss isn't just a frustration, it's caused a break down in relationships.  We start to avoid talking to people when we know they can't or won't be able to hear us.  It's been heartbreaking for me and I've not been as patient as I should have been.  Life is busy, I get in a hurry, and sometimes skip the people I love the most for the sake of time.

There is light at the end of this tunnel, at least for now, and we have renewed hope in the latest technology. I am not sure why hearing aids are so expensive, but that seems to be the way it is.  Dad has said all along that it is not so much about the cost, if we can actually improve mom's hearing.  Family is so important and we are on a journey that I am so incredibly thankful for!

"Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see."  ~ Mark Twain